179: Kyle McDowell | Begin With WE: Why Real Leadership Isn’t About You

179: Kyle McDowell | Begin With WE: Why Real Leadership Isn’t About You

What if the biggest leadership problem today isn’t lack of talent — but too much ego? In this episode, Chris sits down with Kyle McDowell, former Fortune 10 executive who led over 15,000 employees and is now a Wall Street Journal & USA Today bestselling author of Begin With WE. After climbing from a tiny cubicle to the highest levels of corporate leadership, Kyle realized something uncomfortable: most leaders are trained to win for themselves, not for their people. Kyle breaks down what WE-oriented leadership really looks like in practice, why principle-based leadership beats charisma every time, and how leaders can build cultures of accountability, excellence, and trust — without burning themselves or their teams out. This conversation goes beyond tactics. It’s about identity, integrity, and the kind of leadership that actually lasts.

Video preview
Kyle McDowell's journey is a testament to the power of unlearning and embracing responsibility over popularity. As we delved into his transformation from corporate Kyle to a leader driven by principles rather than titles, I was struck by how leadership isn't about looking impressive but about being responsible for those around you.
Kyle began as an ambitious manager who sought validation through numbers and results. However, he realized that this approach wasn’t sustainable or effective in creating real change. His pivotal moment came when he asked himself a simple yet profound question: Is there a better way? Through years of reflection and self-improvement, Kyle developed the 10 We’s, principles designed to foster authentic leadership and build cultures grounded in mutual respect and accountability.

The Power of Asking “Is There A Better Way?”

Kyle's journey underscores the importance of questioning our approaches constantly. When I asked him about this moment, he emphasized that it wasn't just a fleeting thought but a realization that would shape his entire approach to leadership:
"If you can ask that question and be really honest with yourself, about is there a better way to approach this thing called work that we're gonna do for around a hundred thousand hours of our life, then it might be worth exploring."
This reflection challenges us to look beyond the surface-level metrics and consider how our actions impact those around us. It's not just about achieving targets; it's about building an environment where everyone can thrive.

Principles Over Popularity

Kyle’s journey from a results-driven leader to someone focused on principles is transformative. He introduced me to his concept of "Begin With We," which emphasizes the importance of collective responsibility over individual achievement. As he put it, “Principles over popularity.” This shift in mindset means that leadership isn't about being impressive but about being accountable and responsible.
Kyle's personal transformation didn’t stop at work; it extended into every aspect of his life. He realized early on that leading by example is crucial both professionally and personally:
"When I find myself behaving in a way that’s not consistent with them, I check myself... If I didn't put a plate back on the rack or if I’m in the gym and I walk out like that because it's not doing the right thing. I can’t not return my grocery cart to the cart corral."
This self-awareness is key to building trust and respect among those we lead. It’s about being consistent, genuine, and responsible.

The Impact of Leading with We

Kyle shared his 10 We’s principles, which are observable expectations for behavior that can be integrated into any organization or team culture:
  1. Do the Right Thing: Establish clear standards and hold yourself accountable.
  1. Lead by Example: Model the behaviors you want to see in others.
  1. Make Good on Your Commitments: Follow through on your promises.
  1. Pick Each Other Up: Support your teammates when they fall short.
  1. Challenge Each Other: Encourage growth and improvement.
  1. Embrace Challenges Together: Face difficulties as a team, not individually.
These principles create a sense of unity and shared responsibility that goes beyond mere slogans or mission statements. They foster an environment where everyone feels valued and heard.

Building a Legacy Through Leadership

One of the most impactful insights from Kyle is how leaders can build their legacy by leading with integrity and accountability. He talked about creating a leadership legacy, which involves showing up every day committed to living out your principles:
"I don’t know how committed you are to it... But over time, living those values, living those principles over and over again will create a momentum that will surprise you."
This concept is crucial because titles fade and achievements expire. The way we lead ourselves and others leaves a trail—a legacy that endures long after the surface-level metrics have faded.

Personal Reflection

As I reflected on Kyle’s journey and his insights, it became clear to me: leadership isn’t about looking successful; it's about building a life where people around you actually thrive. Titles fade, achievements expire, but the way we lead leaves an indelible mark. We must focus not just on what we achieve but how we achieve it.
Kyle McDowell’s message resonated deeply with me because it reminds us that true leadership is about responsibility and accountability. It's about asking "Is there a better way?" constantly and being willing to unlearn parts of ourselves that no longer serve others or ourselves well.
In the end, I’m left thinking about how I can apply these principles in my own life and work. Can I consistently lead with integrity? Am I living up to the standards I set for myself? These questions are vital if we’re truly committed to creating a better way of working together.
Kyle’s journey serves as an inspiring reminder that leadership is a continuous process of self-improvement, accountability, and commitment to others. Let's embrace this mindset and lead with principles over popularity.